Torment

uncontrollable trembling
convulsing on the floor
heart wreathing inside of my Chest
arms reaching for things not there

Gnarled fingers abrade the ground
mind racing, pulse drowning out sense
eyes darting, chest heaving,
Grasping for miniscule seeps of air

Eyes wide, face in an exhibition of fear
utters of mourning, pain and sacrifice
tied down without ropes
trapped but with no walls

Screams with no sound
and pain with no marks
incisions with no cuts
open heart surgery without sedatives

Transformations with no apparent rewards
anguish with constant withdrawals
muscles ridged, bones scraping
weakness bellows throughout the body

What victory is this?
What advances have I made?
What is the point?
I'm drowning in doubt

Pushing forward
although body is telling myself otherwise
hate, jealousy, self- pity, emotions
creep in to stop the advances

I want this to stop
I want to arrive there
I want to be done
There has been just too much pain

Courage subsides
mind grows dim
I need to still fight
The body gives in

A burst of determination
causes another stride forward
chains drag across the barren rocky landscape
Trying to prohibit further accomplishments

These chains are down deep
with no apparent freedom
As the life within me is draining
still I press on

arm reaches forward
to remain moving
if I halt all my progress
I fear that all will be lost

But looking up ahead
dark clouds cover the horizon
pulling myself forward to no apparent end
Guess thats what the devil would have planned

Time to press on in blind hope
Faith....